I started the year as Sleepy…falling asleep on any surface that I can lay may head on every time I was relieved from my 24-hour post to serve 12 more hours of Out-patient consults. I was asleep the moment I got home still in my icky uniform and forgetting about any gastronomic need.I was sleepy after staying up late after a group effort to cram for the comprehensive exams,I was making salivary maps on my pillow right after every battery of exam. My life revolved around the hospital and then straight to bed.
In April, all the reasons that made me sleepy allowed me to become Doc. On a very windy April afternoon, I received my medical degree. It took me back 18 years ago, when I was 7 years old and dreamed of this day—seemed out of reach and yet possible, after all. It didn’t feel as monumental as I thought it would be.I was wishing that I was my 7-year old self as I went up the stage—-dreamy,idealitstic, with the expression of someone getting her life’s dream. My 25-year old self at that moment was not even carried away by the overall mood, nothing moved me except the look on my parents’ face….I know this meant more to them than it did to me. Things like this take time to sink in my puny brain.
I was a Grumpy Doc by the time I started my Post-graduate Internship in May. All work and no play made me really Grumpy. My plans of having a vacation right after Junior Internship was again placed on the brink of cancellation because Post-graduate Internship Orientation was scheduled 1 week early. I flew to Manila so abruptly that I haven’t had time to even savor this season called summer. I was pissed but I felt I had no choice for the love of medicine.
Then I became Sneezy.I was not allergic to flowers. I became allergic to the choices I made. It dawned on me that my choice of hospital for Post-graduate Internship was just so wrong. In September, after months of trying all possible quick-fixes for my misery—I decided to do something radical.Radically right—I left the program and transferred to Iloilo to restart my post-graduate year in a new hospital.
Adjusting in a new hospital made me Bashful and Dopey…I was pathologically shy but I was squirming out of my cocoon slowly.I was learning what I expected, gaining experiences that my hands are itching for and overwhelmed by the goodness of my new mentors.
Finally, at the end of the year, I’m still Sleepy, less Grumpy, occasionally Bashful, sometimes Dopey, seasonally Sneezy.
Over all, I’m a Happy Doc. 🙂