The Long Wait

Wow. I felt so busy that I thought 3 months had gone past and yet it’s only been a month since my last post .

June was a busy month but I was at home most of the time—- spent 1 week in Boracay  for MD duties and that was my last stint at the island for sure. Why I’m not coming back is reserved for another post.

I’m done with being a couch potato; no more hours of watching reruns of Flash Forward, CSI or the Family Guy. Working for a Philippine-based freelance writing company has turned my fruitless hours into nights of typing relentlessly on my laptop to beat 24 hour deadlines and squeezing my brain to write articles for web publishing.  This has saved my sanity from crossing the line because I no longer have the luxury of delving into thoughts about what-nots and why why why medicine.

This writing job is a good thing.

First, It keeps my brain from going into atrophy of disuse because I’m constantly learning new things with my assignments. Now i know what public domain means, learned the basics of internet marketing and I realized that the most popular products online are the penis enlargement stuff. Hahaha.

Second, what better way to wait for residency openings and application results than this?I’m earning and learning 🙂

Still, I’m anxious about residency. I went to WVMC last week to revisit the hospital where I was once an intern and where I’m planning to apply for residency in Ophthalmology.  Turns out, there is no opening for Ophthalmology applicants until January next year. Still,  I was happy to see again my favorite residents,  med school classmates, friends and my favorite manong guards plus the ER nurses.

I already passed my application for Doctor to the Barrios (DTTB) program but I heard they won’t be hiring till October. I also have an application form here pinned to my cork board —- it’s part of my contigency plan to apply at the Department of Ophthalmology of the  Jose Reyes Medical Center in Manila if all else fails in Iloilo.  I haven’t filled it up though, which signals a lot of hesitation. It’s not that JR is not a good choice, it’s going back to Manila that makes me think twice. I used to love Manila but things have changed. After my Lola’s death, I have this fear of going anywhere too far from family.

So, it’s still a long wait. I’m starting to feel despair about my future in medicine. I’m actually excited about training in Ophthalmology but when will the doors open for me? Plus there are other things to consider.

I’ll wait. For now, writing is a wonderful distraction.


2 thoughts on “The Long Wait

  1. i wish you the best, ava. i hope things will all be okay for you. you see, for us young people who have no inkling as to what we really want to do for the rest of our lives, because know what we want to do for the rest of our lives is absurd, we can only comfort ourselves after finally accepting that this is our reality by working, and working ourselves to death. i hope that helped. and if there is any consolation, i am feeling the same, di ka nag-iisa.

    let’s celebrate this uncertainty.

    • Thanks John 🙂 It’s a great comfort to know that I am not alone in this uncertainty. Thank you for taking time to read my rants. I wish you the best, as well. Don’t worry, everything will fall into place at the right time. Good luck and take care 🙂

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